Wagle Street Journal

LIFE IS a Journey. I have been to far east and far west of Nepal but not crossed more than a kilometer of its international baundries yet. Reporting is my profession and I get some opportunities to travel on assignment.

I still remember my October 2001 Kimathanka trip including some eastern part of Nepal too. I took me 6 days walk to reach Kimathanka from Khadbaari, district headquarter of Sankhuwasawa. This is one of the toughest trail and remotest destination I have ever been to. Shyam Prasad Niraula, a Khadbaari based reporter with Kantipur Publications, and a local folk called Shyam, who helped me carrying my baggage, accompanied me in all those ‘hard’ 10 days.

On the journey, we saw amazing landscapes, hardships of Nepali village life, experienced local life style and talked with a unique polyandry family. Read about that journey here. But first, hike with me in the Langtang area!

Because neighbors and nearby villagers have started teasing those brothers who share their wife.

The great polyandry family.

By Dinesh WAGLE

KIMATHANKA: It was beyond their imagination. The fathers could have rarely imagined what their son did in a broad daylight. The oldest son of two fathers and a mother married two girls. The first marriage was already fixed according to the Nawa (a Sherpa cast) tradition of Kimathanka when they both were child. The wife had already entered the grooms’ house and given birth to a daughter. But, what happened was that, Dawa, the son of fathers Chhindum Nawa, 38, and Rinjin Nawa, 35, and mother Rishe Chyawa, fell in love with another girl. Dawa perhps didn’t like the idea of living in a situation contraty to his fathers. So, at the age to 20, Dawa fled for Kathmandu with his beloved. It takes 6 days walk and a-day-long bus ride to reach the capital city from Kimathanka.

I worte a coverstory for Nepal Magazine after visiting Kimathanka..

According to the information provided by his fathers and mother living in Kimathanka village of Swankhuwa Sawa district, Dawa “now works for a trekking agency in Kathmandu.” After her husband left her, the co-wife (first wife of Dawa) probably didn’t think it was right to stay in that house. Now she is living in her natal home in the same village with their three-year-old daughter, the token of their relationship that didn’t last long. (But Dawa’s first wife is loved much in Dawas’ house. Dawa’s parents told me- “We love her very much but what could the poor girl do when her husband lefts her and goes with another?”)

The polyandry tradition in Kimathanka and Ridak, the northern remote villages bordering China, is gradually vanishing. And, Dawa is not the only person to slap this age long tradition. Chhiring, 50, the oldest brother of these Multi husbands has married two wives. There are 2 sons and a daughter from the first wife, and 2 sons and 2 daughters from the second. According to Chhindum and Rinjin, oldest brother was “separated from the family when we were around 7 years old.” These three brothers themselves had two fathers.

Sheep Boy: Because there is no school in his village Hatia, near Kimathanka, this boy’s daily duty is to ’study’ sheep. In this picture taken in the evening, he is seen leading his subjects back into the farmhouse.

You could find such love between co-wives only in Gods time. We can find several incidents of fighting between brothers while dividing their parental property. But, look at Chhindum and Rinjin! You could feel that they are not only sharing their wife, they are sharing their body, sharing their heart. And, they even share pipe to drink Tongwa (home made beer). When this correspondent was in the residence of this strange family to have a cup of Yak milk on October 18th, both brothers were drinking Tongwa with their common wife sitting on the front. On her lap was an infant and other five children were around their mother. Between them was Ageno (where fire is burned and food is cooked).

In the local Tibetan language, the older brother was saying to the younger- “Brother, drink the Tongwa.” And the younger brother was replying- “I am drinking brother, you also drink”. The 41-year-old Sherpeni (wife of a Sherpa) who is getting affection from two husbands was busy feeding her other 5 children. She was giving them Tibetan tea, made up of salt, ghee and yak milk.

(This family’s 18-year-old second son studies at 5th grade in a nearby primary school. The possibilitie of his further educaton seems uncertain as there is no high shcool nearby. The nearest one is 6 days walk away, in Khadbari, the district headquarter. Fourth Uchhen is 6 years old and studies at 1st grade. 13-year-old daughter Chippa doesn’t go to school. “There is no one in the house to work”, told one of her father- “So, she doesn’t go to school.” The 5-year-old Yunchhuk is the 5th and Pema, the 6th is 3 years old.)

Chhindum hardly understands Nepali language. Rinjin speaks the national language fluently. After cleaning a glass very carefully and putting the fresh Yak milk on fire, Rinjin told me- “We two brothers are living with the same wife.” Now, he came to the point I was trying to talk about!

This family has 22 hybrid yaks. The environment of Kimathanka, where snow falls only 3 months a year, is not suitable for the cattles. So, the shed for the yak is situated in the vast terrain of high snowy hills, 2 days walk from their house. Turn by turn, these brothers take care of the yaks in the shed. Now, its time of snow fall in Kimathanka. After bringing down the yaks, both brothers are relaxing by sitting together on the leather of yak and drinking Tongwa in front of their wife.

If you give ear to these brothers, there are certain reasons behind the multi husband tradition in this village. Here, the farming land is few and production is very much less compared to the efforts done for cultivation by the farmers. There is compulsion to live together if all brothers marry different wives. This results to the division of the limited land. This further creates problem for food. So, satisfy yourself with the same wife of your brothers. One brother goes to the shed with yaks, while another lives in home with wife. You can take care of yaks in the shed and, at the same time, work in the house too. This makes life somewhat easier also. “You can even be rich living with a shared wife”, pouring the hot milk in the glass, Rinjin told- “Property has to be divided if you live with separate wife. This makes you poor and you cant have enough food to eat.”

Among the total 48 houses of Kimathanka, there are 15 families with multi husband and at least 5 with multi wives. Kimathanka Village Development Commeete (VDC) Chairman Rijjeen Sherpas’ house could be an example of the confliction situation. Chairman’s first son Kin Sang and third Dawa are sharing their wife where as second Pasang is happily living with two wives.

“This is a tradition we have followed for ages”, Mrs. Rihse was about to end the session with saying this in Tibetan language. But, a question arises to everyone, how she feels being loved by two husbands. To know this, I asked shipping hot and tasty milk- “Who do you love much among two husbands?” May be, the answer would be different if this question was asked in the absence of one of her life partners. After hearing the question, the mother of 7 children became somewhat shy and replied- “I love both of them equally. And, they also love me very much and equally.” After hearing this from Rishe, both husbands who were watching her like a child to his mother smiled together. I shipped the milk and threw another question to her- “Who do you like much?” There was a quick response from Rishe that made her husbands faces even more shining. “Both man’s faces are same, habits are same. I like both of them.”

She probably has seen the faces “same” from her eyes of love. In fact, the older brother is somewhat white; he has long hair, which is tied by a red rope. Younger is little bit fat, has mustache and the complexion is dark.

Polyandry could be taken as the main reason behind the fact that the population of Kimathanka has increased by only 10 in last 10 years period. According to the 1992 National Census, the population of Kimathanka was 303. This years latest census reveals the new number as 313. On the basis of population, Kimathanka is the smallest among 4 thousand VDCs of the country.

Polyandry is vanishing. Neighbors and residents form near by Nepali villages like Chepuwa, Chyamtang and Hatiya have started to laugh on ‘multi husbands’. Youths are being educated and they are feeling that it’s shame to share wife. I asked a youth boy of two fathers and a mother if he likes the idea of sharing his wife with his brother. “No, I will never do like that. That’s shameful thing.”

In the family of polyandry tradition, the main role is played be the older brother. For example, in the citizenship, the ‘father’ of the shared wife’s children is the older brother. House and land are registered in his name. Kami Nawa, Chairman, Ward No. 6., of the VDC told me- “The mother decides which children belongs to which husbands if the brothers wanted to be separated.”

A question related to this made the otherwise cool Sherpeni, who was wearing a jasmine flower on her hair, somewhat excited. “We are living now in harmony, there is no necessity of separation.” I cold feel her anger when she ended saying- “Why do you want to know about this? Who are you to ask this question?” Probably, she was right. The milk was already finished.

Note: This article, translated from Nepali was first published in Nepal Magazine.

Filed under: Wagle Reporting